so, I just thought I'd update to say that two nights ago, I had pretty much the most amazing dream ever. I went to a Strokes concert or something, and then afterwards I ran up to Julian and Fab or someone as they were leaving, and asked if I could get a picture. Julian was more than happy to, and we ended up chatting. Then for hours. Then we ended up sleeping together, mind you this is while he's still married to Juliet. And then I woke up but I'm pretty sure we lived happily ever after. It was just... the best. The end.
Wow so, still just kinda mind-blown right now... Last everyone heard, I was deeply in love and happier than anyone had ever known me. I'm still in love (oh god... wow worst unintentional pun ever), but no longer happy, really. A week and a half ago, I was in the best place of my life and everything was really looking up. I still had some problems, but everything was still great in the big picture. However, last Sunday through Wednesday, everything changed. Sunday, Ben tried to go on a break with me, but we decided we couldn't do it. Monday, we decided to try it again, but the break only lasted 5 seconds before we knew how much we could never stand the idea of being apart. Tuesday, everything was absolutely wonderful and we were working everything out. Ben told me how much I meant to him and how lucky he was to have me, and I felt the same way. Then Wednesday, bam. He just completely broke up with me, and for some reason I never saw it coming. I cried for two days straight, but now I've improved to only crying every now and then. I haven't eaten anything since Wednesday, and have only had slimfast, water, and tea to drink. Whenever I watch tv, I keep seeing couples in love on every channel and people being engaged to -- and I think it's all a big joke on me and that I'll wake up and it will all be over and back to normal. I don't know, all the reasons he keeps stating seem to make no sense to me, and I just don't know. It's just... way too strange to me. Even now I can't put it in to words. I've been keeping a diary ever since Monday night or so, and I guess that helps a little bit but not enough. It'll never be enough. I'm just waiting for the time to pass. However long it takes. Maybe I shouldn't have fallen so much in love in my first relationship ever, but as naive as it may sound, I know he is the only one for me, ever. He always will be. That's just the way it is. Maybe everyone says that, but I know I mean it. I've known deep love and I know its scarcity.
ok, so. these past few days have been just a little bit crazy. my mom threw a huge party on saturday for my birthday, sunday was good and i went shopping, and then yesterday...
we got robbed. the oddest part is, i was home alone and was there while the whole thing happened. someone knocked at the door and rang the doorbell five times, and i NEVER answer the door. then i heard noises from inside the house so i ran and closed my door, called my dad, and he was on his way over. one of the guys came upstairs and was right outside of my room, so i moved outside onto the porch that goes off of my bedroom. when my dad came, the guys ran into their car and sped off, and i just started BAWLING while dad called the cops. it was so, so strange... a policeman came, and then later CSI came. you know, it's just not something you think would ever happen to you. the scariest part is that they were only here for seven minutes tops and were able to steal over $20,000 worth of stuff. so just a word of warning: always lock your doors and if you ever have kids, never leave them alone in the house no matter how old you are :\
life. what a pain in the ass. so much has been going on lately, it's
like i haven't had time for anything. hence the ZERO updates. i went to
asheville school (my old school's) graduation last weekend and saw all
of my best friends graduate. sad, but so awesome. that night a whole
bunch, like 45, of us went to one of the kids' house and partied like
crazy. it was the only good party i've ever been to. i took a toooon of
i'm officially a bleach blonde now, haha. talk about weird. i'm almost
done with senior projects, so that's good. my last graduation
requirement, yay! i'm working with the charlotte speech and hearing
center, which is going really well. both of my parents have some sort
of problem with either speech or hearing, so i've always been pretty
interested in it. oh, and i don't think i've mentioned that the school
wants me to speak at baccalaureate. WHAT THE HELL. i've only been there
a year. :/ oh well.
yeah, i'm tired. that's about all i have to say now, except for....
I"M SEEING DURAN DURAN ON JULY 20TH. THOSE OF YOU WHO KNOW ME KNOW HOW
DAMN EXCITED I AM. i seriously start to like cry when i think that
roger taylor is going to be in front of me in two months.
Since I've been feeling crappy, I figured I would feel better if I took
pictures of my autographs and stuff to put them all in one place. I
don't know why that would make me feel better, but whatevs. And when I
say autographs, I mean the grand total of the like three that I have.
But anyway, LOOK! ( picture updateCollapse )
And stfu about how I look. The pictures are two years old.
Obligatory outside world post: School sucks.</b></a>